The Power Behind Our Words & The Wisdom of Years

When you ask kids at the beginning of the year to make up the rules for a productive classroom (this is not something I'd necessarily recommend doing), they will likely be harsher than you'd ever imagine. They'll say things like, "You can never talk. If you do, you automatically get a call home."  And on top of that, they add "If you get out of your seat without permission, you get detention for the rest of the week."  This sounds ridiculous, of course, and even more so when you see all the crazy things the kids will try throughout the year.  The point here is that their words, and in some respect, their intentions, do not match their actions.  But we forgive them. They're kids.

The new/young teacher says a lot of things.  "In this room, we will respect one another."  "I will not talk over you."  "I will not let you fail."  "Every homework assignment will be graded and returned to you the next day."  Most of us have said these things many times.  The question kids are asking, and we need to ask ourselves is, how much power is behind our words?

Sometime last year, a great colleague of mine, Renata Robinson, who taught middle school social studies on my grade team for years, was teaching our students the difference between legal rights and substantive rights.  This was in the context of the post Civil War amendments, and the subsequent Reconstruction era that attempted to make those laws substantive.  She said that kids really grabbed onto this idea when she compared it to school.  For example, if a teacher or a school has a "Zero tolerance policy for physical harm to another student," the strength of the policy is revealed when it is tested and the teacher or school either enforces it or doesn't. Schools are filled with missions, rules, and "non-negotiables" as well as highly critical young people, wired to test boundaries ad the validity of our statements.  

The intriguing thing is that many veteran teachers rarely have to enforce their rules.  Over time, by a certain point in their career, they have already fought that battle and won.  They've enforced said rule enough times that when they utter the words, "You may not harm another person in this room," or "We respect each other here," kids recognize the power behind these words and believe its not worth trying.  

I am noticing some behaviors, values, routines, I don't have to enforce.  For example, my students come to a meeting area every day after the entry routine.  I ring a Tibetan meditation bell to signal the transition.  A long time ago, I decided, so that the bell would have meaning, I would only ever ring it to signal a transition to the meeting area. Though I'd be tempted to ring it to get students' attention I never did it.  After years of using this bell for that one purpose, it is a no brainer in my classroom.  I don't have to fight it.  I'm never tempted to overuse it.  It is not questioned or tested. It has that power.  There are also certain words that may not be used in my classroom.  I've already fought the battles over them in past years.  Kids just accept it at this point, even though I didn't fight the battles with them. It's as if the experience just oozes through.

There are other statements I'm still struggling to develop the power to say and truly mean.  "You must raise your hand to be called on," is one of them.  I can't quite win that battle, because at some point I'm always inclined to accept a comment offered by a student who calls out.  Maybe I should just change the rule.  Maybe I should just deal with my own inconsistency and my students' response to it.  Or perhaps, I should just become a stickler for it, even though I find it difficult.

In my last post I discussed the idea that a teacher comes to understand, "It's not about me," in stages as the career progresses.  Establishing the power of our words takes years too. New teachers are warned not to promise students things they can't deliver. In reality, we all will make this mistake at times--there are mess-ups and legitimately confusing issues along the way.  I'm pretty sure that the more experienced we get, the more we're able to match our words and our actions.  This is also something we model for students, and something they need to build consciousness around.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you remember a time when this crystalized for you?  How do you make sure your words have power in the classroom?  

 

[image credit: missremmersadventures.blogspot.com]

Comments

[Audrey R]

I totally agree with veteran teachers not having to reinforce certain rules because kids won't try to work around them (I call it the "teenager loophole" when I joke about it with my kids).
At any rate, I think that it has a lot with how you present yourself to your kids. If you truly believe that you are in charge and carry yourself that way, kids know...and respect it. Kids want adults who don't engage in power struggles. While there is room for negotiation in some areas, there are some things that are non-negotiable and kids can tell right away.

[Lisa Smith]

I absolutely agree with your comments. Having been in the teaching profession for 24 years now, I have also established, now unspoken rules, and kids abide by them because I uttered them or live by them. In schools these days though, I find that the people in "positions" tend to bend your rules and rules get watered down in order to placate pupils and parents. We are fighting for numbers and posts and therefore the discipline and weight of our words are being disregarded. The tail is continually wagging the dog now... What a shame.

[BB]

Your blog post reminded me of Doug Lemov's Teach Like A Champion. This is a great read, like your blog, that explains how teachers can always build momentum while reinforcing classroom norms.

[T T]

And words have even more power when you select the rights ones for your students: http://whatiswrongwitheducation.blogspot.com/2011/05/lessons-learned-power-of-words-love.html

[Cossondra George]

Great thoughts, as always, Ariel. As a 'veteran' teacher, I seldom go over the rules. It is unnecessary because I am confident and comfortable in their solidity. However, I have seen novice teachers write horrendous rules they cannot and will not enforce. These are the classrooms where chaos ensues. Students know, students understand, and students test the waters they know where they have a chance of winning.

[sc]

Perhaps you don't enforce the rule because you don't really want it. You seem fine with students calling out or you wouldn't accept it.

[mrsefird]

I really enjoyed reading this...your words have so much power. Not only for discipline but also if you promise a reward and then it does not come to fruition because of time/money/other you lose that brick in your student teacher trust foundation. I liked the idea of limiting the bell to only transitions. I have also found myself tempted to use my bell for quieting the students down and you are right it will lose it's power. Thanks for the thought provoking post

[Kimberly Efird]

I wanted to add that I am taking grad classes and in our psychology class we talked about how we condition our students behavior not only with our words but also our actions. I think that we definitely need to remain mindful of this in our everyday interactions with students and colleagues. Love the blog!

[Mrs. Miller]

I enjoyed reading your comments. I also tried a similar transition idea only using music instead of an object like the bell. We talked about this in my master's psychology class last semester. It is a great way without using words to "train" the children.
I love the quote "it's not about me." Novice teachers have so many ideas and things to worry about and sometimes words are used that can't be backed up. Novice teachers eventually grow and gain a better understanding of procedures within their classrooms. It was the same for all of us and words of wisdom do come with time and through great leaders (mentors) in our schools.
To answer your question about when did it "crystalize" for me. I really had never thought about it, but since entering the Master's program I've been able to have a better understanding and research based explanations for the things I've chosen to use in my classroom. So for me this program has helped me to better understand the "why."
Novice teachers need our modeling and consistency to help them grow and gain the wisdom.
Thanks for sharing the article.

[logo design]

I LOVE Jacqueline Woodson! I did a lesson on If You Come Softly for my National Board Certification. Great post that I'll share with teachers - it's full of ideas for facilitating guest speaker visits! Thanks.

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[susan]

Ariel,

I love your bell story and am adding it to my resources for new teachers because you point out that disciplining yourself as the teacher leads to good discipline in your classroom.

And I had to smile because I use my desk bell (it's the old fashioned front desk summons bell)in a completely opposite way. Because I teach Family and Consumer Science, the noise level can get quite high. The bell means I can get everyone's attention without shrieking over the noise level of 27 kids working in three kitchens and at five computer work stations all at the same time. The bell means, "Right now I'm talking to all of you, so stop for just a minute and then you can go back to work."

Consistency matters! There's also something to be said here about the legendary third year barrier.