I learned something about myself this past week, back at school full time, preparing for the year (no students yet). After a wonderful summer with plenty of relaxation, sleeping late, time outdoors and cooking, I was back in a fixed work schedule. I had to wake up early, but I did not go to sleep earlier.
By the end of the week, I was in an entirely different place, personally, than I had been 5 days before. I enjoyed the work quite a lot and pushed through the days on little sleep, but when I went home, I felt irritable. I noticed myself getting upset over uncontrollable or unimportant things like the traffic or which fork my partner put next to my plate at the dinner table. I knew that as my mind rushed to focus on meaningless negative points, I was missing more important or interesting things. What happened to the glorious summer energy I'd been relishing?
The change was dramatic and, yet, not wholly unfamiliar. Then it dawned on me. This is me on 6 hours of sleep every night. I have met this version of myself on many a school-day as the year presses on and I go through stretches of longer and longer hours. This is not the person I want to be, nor is it the person my loved ones want to be around--nor is it the person my students should be learning from.
Never was this lesson so swiftly and clearly handed to me. The takeaway, of course, is that it is essential to get enough sleep to be at your best. Going a step further, though, I think it has special ramifications for teaching, and they're not just about sleep. The person you are matters in the classroom. In teaching, I'm constantly negotiating relationships with 100 adolescents. And as their teacher, every little thing I do sends a message to them that influences their development.
I'm human and allowed to err--actually a valuable part of being a role model for kids is making mistakes, admitting it, and modeling how to recover and learn from them. But I do not want my students to be learning from a version of me that is far from my best, which is what happens when I teach without taking care of myself. My decision-making ability and discernment is not as good when I'm running on low fuel, and, especially since I run a responsive classroom, my pedagogy is inevitable weaker when I am weaker.
The solution sounds easy--go to sleep earlier. Not such a problem now, before the year really starts, but it sure get difficult as the work piles on. Other things have to change to allow me to consistently go to sleep earlier. I will have to work more efficiently during some times, and rearrange my priorities at other times. I'm still working on how to make this happen (more coming soon organizing my time), but this year, one of my professional goals will be to take better care of myself personally. I can call this a professional goal because part of being a teacher is being a person in relation to my students. I'm at a place in my teaching where I have some pretty sound methods, structures, and curriculum. What I want to develop more fully is who I am, how I feel, and what I project as I implement my plans on a day to day basis.
[image credit: clipartof.com]
This is a great post. I have recognized this problem in myself, too, but am powerless to change my sleep time. I have three children of my own who need me to be their parent at nighttime. 6 hours a night is all I can get. For me, the solution has been to always quickly and carefully think about what I am going to say/do before I do it. Then I force myself to reflect when I can. And late in the week, I visit the soda pop machine at lunch time...(not healthy at all, but it gets me through.) Good luck with your school year. I hope you manage to get more sleep!
Posted by: Jenmardunc | August 28, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Thanks for stopping by, Jen. You bring up a good point about the impossibility of truly getting enough sleep in many cases. It makes sense to recognize that in those cases our responses to situations need extra thought and reflection.
Posted by: Ariel Sacks | August 28, 2011 at 01:51 PM
I totally relate, Ariel! In fact, I put out a recent post on the same topic, which your readers might also enjoy. It includes a link to Mike Anderson's book, The Well Balanced Teacher. http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/coach_gs_teaching_tips/2011/07/balance_beats_burnout.html
Best wishes for a great, balanced school year!
Posted by: David Ginsburg | August 30, 2011 at 01:42 PM
Sleep deprivation was a major factor in my decision to retire. It was increasing difficult to manage a rewarding career in the classroom, fascinating education work beyond the classroom and a personal life. I could no longer do it all on 4 to 6 hours a night. Take care and sleep tight.
Posted by: Susan | August 30, 2011 at 06:14 PM