Happy, Happy. Joy, Joy.

I wish I had a dollar for every time a parent told me their fondest wish was that their child be happy. As in: "I'm not worried about Jason's grades--I just want him to have friends and be happy." Or: "I'm not going to insist that Mandy practice her flute. If it doesn't make her happy, she can just quit." 

I sometimes wonder about the pursuit of happiness as iconic American goal. I'm quite sure that Jefferson had something more noble and laudable in mind than deciding whether he should jot down a bit of transformative political philosophy--or perhaps take a nap, whichever seemed more fulfilling at the moment.

It's a good week for thinking about what makes us happy--and how we, the village, can raise our collective children to pursue the kind of happiness that matters, while simultaneously being aware of and grateful for their many blessings.

In TIME magazine this week, Nancy Gibbs muses on the confounding information that Americans scored higher on the ongoing Gallup "well-being index" this summer than they did last summer. Although happiness plummeted in the months after the economic meltdown, our national sense of well-being began to increase in the spring, and has remained relatively high since, even though the news--pretty much all the news--has been downright awful. 

Gibbs suggests that Americans have adjusted their expectations, and that's a healthy thing:

While optimism is the all-American anesthetic, at some point Expectation Inflation was bound to take its toll. I'm struck by how many people tell pollsters that the voluntary downshifting and downsizing of the past year have come as a kind of relief. Maybe we've lowered our standards. But we already knew that money can buy only comfort, not contentment; happiness correlates much more closely with our causes and connections than with our net worth.

How does this square with current education oratory and thinking, wherein "low expectations" are now equated with soft bigotry? It's clear that our generational train of progress-through-education--the laborer's son becomes a merchant, the merchant's son a professional, with each subsequent generation achieving more--is creaking to an end. We are outstripping our natural resources and have tilted our economy into crippling debt. The gap between rich and poor is growing; I'm guessing the people who expressed relief about downshifting were moving from the top tier into the middle. 

We can expect all we want, but the reality is that we seem to be heading into a period where the Real Housewives of Atlanta might become appalling symbols of tacky excess, rather than an amusing glimpse into the style and habits of people lucky enough to pursue their personal pleasures. Are we re-defining happiness as much more than recognition, entertainment and stuff?

Speaking of expectations, how can we blithely critique teachers for not using "high expectations" as a handy tool to leverage student learning, when we're ambivalent about providing those same kids with adequate health care? Don't we want all children to reach for more than credentials and possessions--should we expect them to become productive in ways other than generating wealth?

Maybe we need to re-examine our current goal focus on college degrees, and how many more dollars they're likely to yield over a  lifetime of work, and start looking at non-material aspirations and rewards, for our own children and for the nation. Here are the three core outcomes I want for my own children, as a result of their formal and informal education:

• Important work. Work that leads to making something better, whether it's particularly lucrative or not. Work that is variable, challenging and absorbing.

•  Civic engagement. Involvement in groups, relationships with people who have similar goals, volunteering, participating in relevant ways in the life of their community.

• Intellectual curiosity. A life-long interest in a broad range of issues and disciplines, and willingness to read, travel, discuss, ponder, and consider alternative points of view. 

Of course, I want my children to be free from hunger and fear (and the fact that I take such basic needs for granted probably speaks to the privileges I enjoy as an American citizen). Continuous happiness, however, seems like a pretty lightweight and empty goal.  Gratitude is a better place to begin.

Thanks for reading Teacher in a Strange Land.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Image: TheABU@ Flicker Creative Commons

Comments

[teachin']

What wonderful outcomes; I'm going to remember those. Thank you.

[Nancy Flanagan]

Hey, teachin'. The outcomes were surprisingly easy to identify, once I considered the idea. But try running those imprecise, non-data-driven outcomes by a policy-maker.

Have a great holiday.

[IDEAteach]

I'm right there with you about the aspirations for my children, Nancy. I'm just a little concerned that those of us who were in the middle class are going to witness our children's decline onto the edge of financial cliffs. Their values will be safe, but they may, at times, be faced with having to apply for food assistance, go without dental care, or other economic supports in order to make it. It used to happen to other people, but now it's happening to us!

[teacherken]

This paragraph in particular grabbed my attention: "Speaking of expectations, how can we blithely critique teachers for not using "high expectations" as a handy tool to leverage student learning, when we're ambivalent about providing those same kids with adequate health care? Don't we want all children to reach for more than credentials and possessions--should we expect them to become productive in ways other than generating wealth?"

As you know, I have volunteered at medical missions/fairs in the Appalachian portion of Virginia, and teach in a district where a 12 year old died when the infection from an abcessed tooth spread into his brain. Absent health care, sufficient nutrition, basic economic security and the like, it seems almost cruel the demands we are placing on our students.

Why are we not placing similar high expectations on our government and financial and business leaders, some of whom have failed miserably in recent years?

I will continue to challenge my students as much as I can, but I will also periodically have to lift them up from the slings and arrows of inequity in which they live.

[bill01370]

Teacherken, I hear you. I'm teaching a unit now on racism and sexism, and I'm struggling to find the right balance between allowing them to learn about modern day realities and helping them feel powerful in the face of these often-unacknowledged cultural norms.
I think happiness is a worthy goal (it was the #1 goal enumerated by parents in my school three years ago), but the key is how that happiness is achieved. Though I'm by no means 100% in agreement with Objectivists, I think there is something to the idea of earning one's happiness, and I think Nancy's three principles, if taken as true bases throughout life, would help lead ultimately toward happiness (with hard work, yes, and certainly occasional frustration along the way). And as with all teaching, we need to start with role modeling.
Thanks to all for a thought-provoking discussion.

[Nancy Flanagan]

Dear Ken, bill and IDEAteach--

Thanks for extending the dialogue in important ways. I'm not averse to happiness as a goal--I'm fond of happiness!--but pursuing personal pleasure at the expense of community and equity is a very hollow goal.

Far too many of the kids I taught, when asked about their future, were bent on either wealth or fame, neither of which automatically leads to sustainable happiness.

Thanks for visiting a Strange Land.